Saturday, September 27, 2008
I FELT SOME VERY BIG WARM HANDS UNDER MY ARMS SWOOPING ME UP AND THEN I WAS FLYING..... FLYING TOWARDS ....DRACO.....DRACO MALFOY.....WHAT IN THE WORLD......I LOOKED UP AND EDWARD WAS CARRYING ME AS HE FLEW ME AWAY FROM THE DANGER THAT DRACO WAS PUTTING ME IN.....I SOON REALIZED ALSO THAT THE WEASLEY TWINS WERE PLAYING A GAME OF WIZARDS CHESS AT A NEARBY TABLE.......WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME I WASNT ME AT ALL I WAS BELLA? OK CATS OUT OF THE BAG IM A NUT. I WAS GLAD TO WAKE UP TO THE FEET IN MY FACE AND GUT AND REALIZE IT WAS JUST A DREAM
MOMMY WE ARE SO HUNGRY OUR FACES ARE MORPHING INTO ALIENS AND WE ARE NEVER GOING TO BE THE SAME AGAIN. PLEASE FEED US! PLEASE!
IM GOING TO GET IT !!!! IF ONLY I WAS JUST THE NORMAL SIZE! WELL AT LEAST MY FACE IS'NT MORPHING.
OK THINGS ARE SMELLING BETTER NOW, AND FACES ARE LOOKING BETTER, I THINK THINGS WILL BE OK!
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Well, what should I post about?? The pressure is on now.
I think since Katie didn't give much details about our fabulous trip to Jump Creek, I will. The picture you are all enjoying is me with my three kids. I had a forth at the time but she is not pictured and no longer lives with us (thank goodness <--J.K.). So this day started out as many of our days with the Neustaedters do, at the Horse Troph, a.k.a. Golden Corral. Neustaedters like to eat at this place because all their kids eat for free and Strassers (me) like this place because of the all-you-can-eat-do-it-yourself-ice cream dispenser. Well, as soon as we are all un-satisfied but our tummies were full we left. Usually after our shmorgashborgs, we will over to a park near someones house. So I decided not to use the germ infested public restroom and just wait until we get to one of our houses to go to the bathroom. As usual we load up our kids and then since we are too lazy to walk from one handicap parking space to the next to decided where to go now, we just drive away we call each other on the cell phones. As we are discussing where to go, Steve makes a wonderful <--being sarcastic, suggestion that we go to Jump Creek. Well of course Katie and I don't want to take 9 little kids and a teenager with a bad attitude to Jump Creek but Morgan took Steve's side and since he was driving and in the lead, that is where we went. I told Morgan I needed to go pee but he assured me that they had REAL bathrooms up there. I didn't recall there being plumbing in the middle of nowhere but if any of you know Morgan, he is always right. So I just continue to "hold it" with a very stuffed tummy for the thirty minute drive to Jump Creek. And to make matters worse, I had no cell phone coverage so I was unable to ignore Morgan the whole time while I talked to Katie. We finally get there and I can see the restroom. I quickly dash over and get inside and IT WAS A PORT-A-POTTY!!! Oh no he didn't!! Okay well I really had to pee so I tried to psych myself up for it but as I peered into the deep dark toilet, all I could imagine we a giant snake living down there, waiting for an unsuspecting girl to place her bare bum on the toilet seat. Snakes are such perverts. Anyways, I just couldn't do it. So I leave the bathroom and tell Morgan I need to leave but he says, "Oh stop being a baby and just take a cup, pee in it, and then dump that in the toilet." Genius! It was quite easy to find a cup since my entire car was filled with McDonalds happy meal cups. I grabbed my cup, ran to the bathroom, and started to relieve the pressure off my bladder. UH-OH! This cup is very big. I also didn't "prepare" my self well enough to be able to tell when I was getting close to the top of the cup. Not a big deal. I will just stop right now, empty the cup, and then finish. Well, unfortunately, I was already at the very tip top. As I VERY carefully tried to move the cup away from my clothes while still having a half full bladder, I ended up spilling most of it on my pants. Crap! Now what? Oh I tried to play it off like it was no big deal. "Oh that, it is just a little pee I spilled all over my pants. It happens." Steve took the opportunity to make fun of me as much as possible but I don't think any of the 9 kids thought it was a big deal cuz "Peeing your pants is the coolest." Well, at least it was just my family and the Neustaedters who saw. Except as we hiked to the waterfall we accually saw quite a few people. I tried to make loud comments about how stupid I feel for falling into some pee smelling water so that when the strangers were wondering if I fell into some pee smelling water or if I peed my pants, they would think I just fell. I am not sure if they bought it but I like to think they did. We finally made it to a very crowded waterfall and I quickly sat down on a rock and crossed my legs for the remainder of the time, acting like I was tired and I will make the sacrifice of sitting here taking pictures. Once my pants were dry and I now smelled like stale urine, we pack up the kids and left. I was quite anxious to get home and take a shower. After wearing pee pants for several hours, the shower never felt better. So now I have TONS of pictures to remind me of the day that I basicly peed my pants. The moral of the story, Don't use port-a-potties. Perverted snakes live in them and they will bite your bum if you sit on one.
Thank you Katie for letting me use your blog. I know you secretly left it open for me. And I apologize to anyone who felt like this blog was TMI (Too Much Information) but really you could have stopped reading at any time but you were enjoying reading about my misery. SICKOS! Don't forget to read Katie's post below and leave lots of comments for her so she feel popular!